Sunday, September 19, 2010

I love to eat ice cream!

This is an inspirational video and I have the greatest respect for runners like this.

My problem is that I think I am about to do the opposite, because I miss running every day and when I can't run I like to eat a bit more and usually that involves lots of ice cream! Yikes! I can see the headlines now, "Former runner, former Ironman, former marathoner turns to ice cream and..."

I got 3 runs in this week. Tuesday went well. I did 8 miles in one of my faster workout times in a long while (well I haven't got many workouts in lately). Friday, I got 2 miles down the road and had to stop again and walk home. My whole left leg and stride was off. Today I got 8 miles in again, but the muscles or ligaments around my hip joint weren't happy and my stride kept getting further and further off (although not as bad as Friday).

I am hoping I can get a couple of decent runs in this week so I can at least jog the Applefest 1/2 Marathon on Saturday. I am really bummed that I can't race it (and win an age group pie again) and am losing all my training. Applefest is one of my two favorite races all year (Falmouth is the other) and I always want to do my best at it. If my leg and hip are off, I am not even going to attempt it.

Wednesday was the MRI on my hip and they did not prepare me correctly for it. When I was told I would get an MRI, I told them I get claustrophic and particularly don't like feeling confined or being unable to move. I saw a picture of an MRI machine on the wall and said, "This looks OK though." It only showed a tube going from knee to chest. They said they could get me into a machine like that. I believe I was told it would be for half an hour. I forgot to ask if I was going to get the contrast injection. I have been told time and time again that this is the only way to go and that sometimes the injection can help the hip by lubricating the hip capsule.

When I showed up, I was disappointed to be told I was not down for the injection. They took me to a trailer and showed me the machine in a small room. It was not the one in the picture. I was told this one was a little wider than the older models, but it was not what I anticipated. I was also figuring it would be hard to lie down and keep my legs still, but I thought I would be able to move my upper body some and read a book to pass the time. No, I had to be perfectly still. No movement at all. Then, I was put into the machine up to my chin and I was on my back looking at the ceiling. I had just finished a long day of teaching and was real antsy and needed to run in order to relax, but instead I was confined to this tube and feeling all jittery. I also had forgot to drink anything and was as thirsty as could be. Things did not look good and I was not comfortable at all. The machine made noise for a minute or two and I actually appreciated the loud noise to take my mind off things. Then I was sucked another inch further into the tube and was told the next picture would be for 8 minutes. I hated it and was counting holes in the ceiling tiles, there were thousands but they were too small and I kept losing my place. Time passed very slowly. After 4 minutes it stopped and they said I moved and they would start the rest of the 4 minutes and that I only had 45 minutes in there total before I was done.

Then it became impossible, I counted holes, listened to the loud clicking, and started realizing that I was thirsty as could be and stuck in a coffin like tube unable to move and all I wanted to do was to move around a bit. I thought if I could make 8 minutes I could force myself to do 30 minutes (how long I thought the MRI would be) if I could just get to the halfway point, but to go 45 minutes was undoable. I wasn't even sure how many more times, I would be sucked further into the tube. It happened twice already. They were not communicating with me about what was going on. I made it the 8 minutes and then it got quiet again. Then, I recalled all the people that said you need a contrast shot or they may have to do the MRI again. If was not worth it. I quit. I would rather do a hundred miler on a broken hip that finish that 45 minutes. So that was the end.

It sounds silly but really, I don't like confinement. The two times I broke a leg, I couldn't even keep a cast on. The first time I cut  it off after about 3 days. The second time I had the doctor take it off after about 3 hours. I wore a splint and a soft cast both times, and that felt better because I knew I could take it off if I felt confined. I felt horrible for quitting, but I didn't want my brain to explode on the table. I guess a lot of people don't make it though an MRI, but I really wanted to know what it showed and I really wish they had been clear about what to expect. How was I to know I couldn't even move a finger? I am jealous of the people that can relax and go to sleep during an MRI, but somehow I wasn't generating a happy picture of myself lying on the beach under a hot sun and just napping the time away as I was in that tiny tube. Instead, I was thinking about how far I could run in all that time and I couldn't imagine how to hold myself still. I also was  remembering a book I read in junior high about a girl who had been kidnapped and hidden away in a coffin-like box underground called "83 Hours till Dawn." I was not in a happy place! I don't know if they will give it a second shot or if they will try something else, but I learned nothing about my hip this week after looking forward to this for a couple of weeks.

So I am eating a bit more ice cream, trying to come to grips with the idea that it is for the best not to run much at the moment, but I look forward to those days where things feel good enough that I can sneak another run in. I am not sure what else to try. I should receive some permanent orthotics from Dr. Dananberg in week or two and maybe they do more than the insoles I originally got from him. I think I battered those ones to submission. Maybe they have lost the ability to work welll with all the running I did on them. I was in Monday to get fitted for the new orthotics. One thing he did do after seeing me walk barefoot was to say that I probably didn't need the lift in the left orthotic anymore as my pelvis has leveled. I told him I took it off two weeks earlier in frustration when I could only make it 2 miles into a run. Maybe that was doing some of the business on my left hip.

It's now running season and all my friends are doing their races and getting ready for the marathons that they have been training so hard for. The weather is now beautiful running weather and I just wish I was out there pounding the pavement. Good luck to all my running friends and enjoy your running  and racing. I think I'll just have another bowl of ice cream!


brooks shoes said...

Very inspiring video..I love it.

Matt Metzgar said...

I'm sure it is a natural urge to not want to be confined. I think I would pass on the MRI as well.

Hope the diagnosis turns out well...

Jim Hansen said...

I hope the doctor can find out what's wrong without an MRI. Those machines are just not for me...I tried twice!